We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.

Most of us know the feeling of experiencing something so fantastic that we want to share it with everyone so they can experience it, too.

Just think of The hCG Protocol, for example.

You have lost tremendous amounts of weight, very quickly, very safely and now you are trying to grab anyone who will listen to tell them that The hCG Protocol is the best and ONLY WAY to achieve weight loss.

I have seen that happen time and time again with people who I have shared the miracle of The hCG Protocol with in my “offline life.”  They start losing so fast, and it seems so miraculous that they want everyone they know to jump on the train. Then suddenly, out of nowhere – BAM! — they are blindsided by criticism and judgment.

Ouch. Judgment is a harsh word.

But, let’s pause and unpack it a minute. If we’re honest, most of us must admit that we judge. Every day. We judge everything.  We judge people, places, movies, politics, books, diets, restaurants … everything. It’s how we determine what we like, what is safe, who is good, where to turn, and how we feel. Judging is our way of choosing the path that best fits our needs at the moment.

The problem with judging is that most of the time, we judge something, determine we are right, then we don’t allow others the same privilege.  We tell them that they are wrong, and that judging is wrong. Oops, that is judging too.

Judging is part of the human condition. It’s the way our brains are wired. And it’s a good thing, too. Imagine yourself walking in an unknown city and you are lost. It’s beginning to get dark out. You come upon an alley. You see one man walking in your direction. You are alone. You stop and JUDGE the situation. Most of us would choose to avoid the alley, just in case. Our judgment in that situation quite possibly helped us avoid danger.

Judging is not BAD.

But, when we allow ourselves to become JUDGMENTAL, that’s when we cross over to the dark side.

When we become judgmental, we close ourselves off to the thoughts and opinions of others. We become self-righteous, believing our way of thinking or doing is the only way.

Judgmental thinking spawns adversarial thinking. It is hurtful and alienating. Anyone who has been on the target of judgmental thinking knows how it wounds.

I believe we can become less judgmental by following some lines of thought:

Be Sympathetic

If you see someone on a path that “you” think is unwise, try to mentally put yourself in his or her situation before you slip into judgmental thinking. Remembering that each of us have unique life situations, up-bringings, and cultural and societal influences. There is no “one-size-fits-all” way to live.

First, seek to understand then to be understood

Author Stephen Covey, in his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” pointed out that most of us rush to be understood by others before we pause to understand their points of view. This way of communicating leads to nowhere. The next time you are faced with a situation where you find yourself falling prey to judgmental thoughts, pause long enough to listen and hear the other person before you decide they are wrong.

Do you want to be right, or be happy?

When we are stuck in the vortex of judgmental thinking, it’s easy to get sucked into the desire to be right, at all cost. Ask yourself, would you rather be right or be happy? I, for one, will choose happy every time. For me, life isn’t about being right. It’s about relationships, finding common ground, community and joy. I want my life to focus on making a positive contribution. Being labeled right or wrong, for me, is irrelevant.

Let’s go back to my opening example of The hCG Protocol …

When you are successful on the Protocol, you know in your heart that hCG is the best thing for fast, effective weight loss. You are certain that hCG is a safe, medically sound way to lose weight. You are convinced because all your labs came back, and you have avoided heart disease and diabetes. You are sure that once the whole world knows about this, they will join you in your success.

In your zeal to share your discovery with the world, you can accidently slip into judgmental thinking: “The hCG program works. Other diet plans pale in comparison!”

But, once your enthusiasm wears off, you can see that in reality, there are many paths to one destination. The goal is weight loss and healthy living; hCG is not the only way to get there.

There are many different factors that determine how each of us see and respond to the world. Your standards and your perspectives are YOURS alone. You’ve figured out what’s best for your life. It is your duty to allow each person to figure out his or her own journey, too. We can love them through the process without passing judgment on their choices.

There is one destination. Getting there will be different for each one of us.

“Mom, I don’t need Ruffles. If they hurt you, don’t buy them,” said my 11-year-old daughter, who is so much wiser than her years.

Simplicity at its finest. No excuses. No regrets. No blame. Just the truth from someone who has my back.

That short, sweet sentence launched the beginning of the end of my addiction.

There, I said it. I’m a recovering addict.

And I’m being completely serious.

Addiction therapy gurus tell us that to overcome an addiction, we first have to admit we have a problem.

Diet coke? Chocolate chip cookies? A mocha with whip to get your through the afternoon?

Are you still trying to deny that these habits, these addictions, don’t lead to destructive behaviors and results?

Yes, I was addicted to Ruffles. They are like a drug to me. I can’t even have them in my house because I will find some an excuse to eat them. If they are in my house, they taunt me, tease me, call my name. They wake me in the middle of the night. I get up thinking about them. I will use any excuse in the book to consume them. You’ve heard them all before:

• “Oh, it’s ok just this once …”
• “I can stop after just one …”
• “I will give them up tomorrow …”
• “It’s not like it’s a drug, what’s the real harm …?”

I even convinced myself I was being unfair to my daughter by not allowing her to have the snack she loved in the house. I went so far as to say to myself, “I simply must learn to live with them in my house because I don’t want to deny my baby girl something she loves.”

Yeah, I know. Pretty bad, huh?

When I finally admitted to myself that I had a problem, I mustered the courage to ask her if she’d be terribly upset if we never brought Ruffles into the house again.

In no uncertain terms she made it clear that a Ruffle-free life would be perfectly fine with her.

I am happy to say I have been Ruffle free since May of 2011!

And, yes, it gets easier and easier with each passing day. I am creating a new normal. I know that my new habit creates new pathways in my brain. I’m getting out of the rut thinking that trapped me for so long. Sure, sometimes my addiction rears its head and tries to tempt me. But I now know that is nothing more than the repercussions of a destructive, old habit.

That circus has not left town, but that monkey is off my back. ::giggle::

We are usually triggered by something when we fall prey to our destructive addictions. Are you aware of your triggers?

Are you awake enough to your emotions to know when you get to the point of crossing the line and falling on destructive, old patterns?

My Get Your Thin On in 7 Simple Steps Program will help you become more aware of the things that trigger you into making a false step that will sabotage your weight control journey.

Why not give yourself a chance to learn new ways of handling addictive behaviors? If you were not on the call last Thursday, here is a chance to listen to the recording. Click here. If you had a chance to listen, and are still unsure if it’s the right decision for you, maybe I can help. Just click here, drop me your questions, and I will answer you.

No pressure. No tricks. Just you and me having a conversation about something that I KNOW has helped others. Ultimately, your decision is up to you.

Life is one long jubilee.

Well, we made it. We are officially into the New Year of 2012!

Isn’t it exciting?!?

I have always had a special spot in my soul for new beginnings: the new day, the new week, the new month, and of course, the New Year. I love how the newness allows me to wipe the slate clean and start fresh.

For me, waking up Sunday on the first day of 2012 was no exception. When I woke up, I felt I was handed the most precious gift in the world: a whole 366 days (yes, it’s a LEAP year) to do with as I please. It was as if I was given an awesome, shiny, fresh journal to record the upcoming year.

During my life, I have never been one for resolutions. Even the word “resolution” freaks me out. Resolute seems like such a prim and proper word. I’ve always felt that if I made a resolution, it would be something static and unchangeable. In other words, I’d be stuck with it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew goals were supposed to be more dynamic, constantly changing and evolving.

At the end of 2009, I discovered a handy tool that has had a profound effect on how I begin my new year.

This tool gave me a new approach to New Year’s Resolutions. It gives me a way to satisfy my desire to have fluid, progressive goals with much more staying power.

When I found Christine Kane’s Word of the Year Discovery Tool, I figured I’d try it. What did I have to lose? At the time, I didn’t understand how one word could possibly embody all that I wanted to accomplish in the year. So I suspended my disbelief long enough to do the exercise.

I’m still amazed at all that has transpired in my life since then.

I had so much success with the Word of the Year Discovery Tool that I decided to use it again this year.

My word for 2012? Jubilee.

Jubilee is a funny word. It’s not used often, but I am certain it is the perfect Word of the Year for me. Here’s why:

Jubilee is a celebration. It is an anniversary of the passage of time, most notably 50 years. In the Bible, the jubilee year was a time for emancipation and restoration. It was a time when a person was allowed to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. It was a time to rest, restore, release and rejoice. And they did so for the entire year!

In 2012, I will turn 50. This year will be My Year of Jubilee. I will focus everything I do, every goal I make, every intention I set around the word jubilee to see if it fits with my desires. I will ask myself these questions with every decision I contemplate: Does this decision allow me more rest? Will this decision help me restore myself to a former condition? Does this decision release me from the things that weigh me down? Will this decision allow rejoicing?

Focusing on just one word is much easier for me than having a list of things I want to do. It allows me to shape my year into something that is very important to me.

How about you? Will you join me in this journey of choosing a Word of the Year instead of a list of resolutions?

If you have already picked your word, why not share it in the comment section? If you haven’t picked yours yet, use the link above, download the tool, and just try it out. I bet it will have a profound effect on you. Besides, what do you have to lose?

JUST A NOTE:

Tomorrow is an exciting day for me. On Thursday January 6, 2012, I will host a free call where I will discuss my Get Your Thin On in 7 Simple Steps program. During that call, I will share a story about my first Word of the Year pick, how I arrived at that word, and what an impact it had on me. If you haven’t already reserved your spot, please do so now by clicking here.

I’m so excited to share my story with you, and to help you make the changes you need to make this year. I can’t wait to connect with you tomorrow! Join me and others like you who are ready to make 2012 the best year yet.

I hope you will help me start My Jubilee Year off with a bang!